Category Archives: Satire

Wile E. Coyote: New York Times reporter

Iowahawk is, as usual, brilliant.

Doo-dee-doo-dee-doo… now where did I put that protractor? Ahh, here it is! Let me see… if the hypotenuse the parabola of a pregnant teenager… is inversely proportional to the approval ratings of the religious Right… then if I set the azimuth of the baby scandal catapult to 72.415 degrees, she’ll be crushed as flat as her barren Alaskan tundra. Muwahahaha! 

…Egads! I must say, sometimes I astonish even myself with my own genius!

And now, to bait the hook. Simply load in this explosive charge into the cup… unghhhh… pull the lever and…   

SPROING

FLIPPFF

KROONFFFFCH

ow.

KERSPLOOOOWWWM

Wfwell, Backh to tphe oldl drawbling bloard.

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Trackposted to Mark My Words, Rosemary’s Thoughts, , third world county, Right Truth, The World According to Carl, Shadowscope, DragonLady’s World, The Pink Flamingo, Cao’s Blog, Leaning Straight Up, WingLeSS, Democrat=Socialist, and Right Voices, thanks to Linkfest Haven Deluxe.

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Obama we can Obama in: Open Trackbacks

What a hoot!

h/t: Liberal Fascism
Linkfest Haven, the Blogger's Oasis

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Trackposted to Right Truth, Stuck On Stupid, Cao’s Blog, Big Dog’s Weblog, Leaning Straight Up, Democrat=Socialist, nuke gingrich, third world county, Woman Honor Thyself, McCain Blogs, The World According to Carl, , Pirate’s Cove, The Pink Flamingo, CORSARI D’ITALIA, and Right Voices, thanks to Linkfest Haven Deluxe.

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Obey Obama

obey-ma.jpgOBEY-MA for short. A satire of an awfully fascist looking poster. From here and before it from here.

h/t: third world county

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Trackposted to Rosemary’s Thoughts, Right Truth, Adam’s Blog, The Amboy Times, Big Dog’s Weblog, Leaning Straight Up, Adeline and Hazel, D equals S, DragonLady’s World, The World According to Carl, Pirate’s Cove, Blue Star Chronicles, The Pink Flamingo, Gulf Coast Hurricane Tracker, , Right Voices, and Stageleft, thanks to Linkfest Haven Deluxe.

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Eau Governeur! Oh Governor!

A little old, I know. But still an absolutely hilarious photoshop from the NY Daily News.

eau-governeur.jpg

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Trackposted to third world county, Right Truth, DragonLady’s World, The World According to Carl, Miss Beth’s Victory Dance, Blue Star Chronicles, Pirate’s Cove, The Pink Flamingo, The Amboy Times, Cao’s Blog, InvestorBlogger, Leaning Straight Up, , Stageleft, and Adeline and Hazel, thanks to Linkfest Haven Deluxe.

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House Democratic Caucus discusses death penalty for converts who leave the Democratic Party

Washington, DC, 19 March – In its first session since the Saint Patrick’s Day holiday, the House Democratic Caucus is expected to discuss a law that will condemn to death anyone who decides to leave the left wing of the Democratic Party and take up another viewpoint.

Under the proposed law, anyone who is born to Democrat parents, or who registers as Democrat for two elections in a row, and decides to convert to a more conservative political party will face the death penalty.

Currently, converts, known as neo-cons for their newly discovered conservatism, particularly those who have decided to leave the Democratic Party for the Republican Party, are thrown off George Soros’ payroll, shunned by the jet set, dis-invited from all the big hooker parties at Elliot Spitzer’s place in the Hamptons, and blacklisted from jobs in Hollywood, and in the entertainment industry, which includes failing newspapers such as the New York and Los Angeles Times and television news on failing stations such as NBC, MSNBC, CNBC, CNN, CBS, PBS, and the incredibly boring radio network NPR.

The new legislation, which has caused concern in Washington DC and elsewhere, was proposed mainly because of fears of proselytizing activities by conservative activists, particularly through the use of blogs such as Michelle Malkin’s eponymous blog, Townhall.com, Jihad Watch, Ace of Spades HQ, the Weekly Standard, Blog Row at National Review Online, and an obscure pro-military site with a name that is so cool it would seem unrealistic in a science fiction movie.

There has also been concern over the fact that many young Democrats have abandoned the party because they are tired of the dominance of leftover Marxist class and race warfare in the Democratic Party, to the detriment of intellectual engagement with ideas that matter, such as the imminent collapse of the welfare state and what to do about it.

The legislation, which bears the curious name of the Fairness Doctrine v.2, will also impose the death penalty for hosts of conservative radio talk shows, whose shows and ill-gotten wealth will be transferred to NPR for more episodes of An American Life about lesbian drum circles in a renovated crack house in Seattle formerly owned by the late Layne Staley of Alice in Chains, who luckily died of a heroin overdose before he could become a neo-con himself.

h/t: Adnkronos International.

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Trackposted to Outside the Beltway, The Virtuous Republic, Rosemary’s Thoughts, guerrilla radio, Right Truth, Adam’s Blog, Adeline and Hazel, Nuke Gingrich, The World According to Carl, Miss Beth’s Victory Dance, The Pink Flamingo, , Dumb Ox Daily News, CORSARI D’ITALIA, Right Voices, The Yankee Sailor, and Gone Hollywood, thanks to Linkfest Haven Deluxe.

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Obama Man Can! the Video

So-so video but great song!

“He’s mesmerizing and he makes manure taste good.”

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Trackposted to The Virtuous Republic, third world county, Nuke Gingrich, Allie is Wired, Right Truth, The World According to Carl, Pirate’s Cove, The Pink Flamingo, Global American Discourse, Cao’s Blog, Gulf Coast Hurricane Tracker, , CORSARI D’ITALIA, Conservative Cat, and The Yankee Sailor, thanks to Linkfest Haven Deluxe.

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Blogspotting: Stuff White People Like

I probably don’t need to tell you about it. But just take a gander at this article about Difficult Breakups.

Prior to engaging in divorce, most white people train for it by engaging in a series of long term relationships that end very poorly. At some point, you will likely encounter a white person who is in the middle of a difficult breakup with a boyfriend or girlfriend. […]

Once breakup proceedings have been initiated, a white person is immediately thrust into the center of attention in their circle of friends. During this time, they are permitted to talk at great lengths about themselves, listen to The Smiths, and get free dinners from friends who think “they shouldn’t be alone right now.”

It is imperative that you do not attempt to kick them out of their misery by saying things like “get over it,” “there are other people out there,” or “I don’t want to read your poem.”

SWPL is a very funny satirical site about yuppies, buppies, professors, artistic types, musicians, urban hipsters and all their ridiculous obsessions. Some other amusing topics include: Coffee; Barack Obama; Bottled Water; Asian Girls; and Multilingual Children.

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Trackposted to A Blog For All, Woman Honor Thyself, Right Truth, DragonLady’s World, The Pink Flamingo, Cao’s Blog, Big Dog’s Weblog, Gulf Coast Hurricane Tracker, A Newt One, Stageleft, Right Voices, and The Yankee Sailor, thanks to Linkfest Haven Deluxe.

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Prophylactic War and the Choice Doctrine. Hmmm, Could it work?

Mutual Assured Destruction (MAD) was posited on the premise that the USA and the USSR were both uncontrollably vengeful.

We’re all crazy, and if you nuke any of us we will kill everyone in your country, even if the process of retaliation and counter-retaliation makes your country and ours wastelands forever.

Of course the means of this mutual destruction was nuclear weapons on ICBMs, MIRVs and other missiles. The result was a balance of terror that maintained the Cold War from 1945 until 1991, when Reagan’s anti-ballistic missile programs to remove the terror of destruction from the American people led to the USSR bankrupting itself and falling apart.

Pre-emptive war as a doctrine is also based on the caricature of the USA as a heavily armed giant with an itchy trigger finger. In other words:

We’re all crazy, and we’re ready to invade anyone who looks at us funny without waiting for them to attack first, so if you want to try us, make my day!

The pre-emptive war doctrine is no more nuts than was MAD. It is actually less nuts. At least we’re not promising to lay waste to entire continents. Only to kill some dictators and station volunteer soldiers in distant hell-holes to help clean up the mess. But prophylactic, pre-emptive war has not been explained in the same way that MAD was explained. Nobody liked MAD either. MAD was so stressful on American schoolchildren, and I expect on schoolchildren all over the world, that it spawned the peace movement that taken over the American and European left and turned it into the anti-American and anti-European left. But it was well explained and everyone in the thoughtful classes bought into the premise.

Maybe the first step is to re-christen the method “prophylactic war” and call the Bush doctrine the Choice Doctrine? After all, it is our choice to not be nuked or killed in a horrible plague, so we choose to use prophylactic measures to prevent it. It’s kind of like putting on a condom when getting intimate with a dodgy partner. This world is full of countries that are dodgy partners, and the hyperpower has to deal with all of them. Or it might also be said that it is like aborting a failed state that nobody except the crooks in charge wants to keep.

I jest, but some attention will need to be paid to presenting the doctrine to the public in a way that it can be understood. And this is a pro-choice designation that many old-fashioned liberals like me (who are now called conservatives because the Democratic party lost its mind) could live with.

Trackposted to The Virtuous Republic, Rosemary’s Thoughts, Allie is Wired, third world county, 123beta, Adam’s Blog, , Right Truth, Shadowscope, Pirate’s Cove, The Pink Flamingo, Cao’s Blog, The Amboy Times, and Big Dog’s Weblog, thanks to Linkfest Haven Deluxe.

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Global Warming Family Feud

Family Feud was once a television show hosted by the incredibly sleazy Richard Dawson featuring two “families” who competed to match answers that were supplied by “100 respondents to a random poll.” It still exists, hosted now by John O’Hurley. For some people Family Feud was a guilty pleasure. For others it was just a plague on popular entertainment.

This is the scoring for Global Warming Family Feud. In February 2007 a Fox News Poll revealed that

  • 82% of Americans believed in global warming. (91% of Democrats, 84% of Independents, 72% of Republicans)
  • 41% believed that humans are the sole or primary cause of global warming (52% of Democrats, 30% of Republicans)
  • 38% believed that humans in combination with natural climate patterns account for it. (42% of Republicans)
  • 14% believed that natural climate patterns account for all of it. (20% of Republicans)

Let’s play!

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Humbug to yet another a modest proposal

But not funny. Or clever. Or swift. Perhaps it is Swiftean, but then I always thought Swift to be overrated.

A Wall Street Trader Draws Some Subprime Lessons: Michael Lewis

Sept. 5 (Bloomberg) — So right after the Bear Stearns funds blew up, I had a thought: This is what happens when you lend money to poor people.

Don’t get me wrong: I have nothing personally against the poor. To my knowledge, I have nothing personally to do with the poor at all. It’s not personal when a guy cuts your grass: that’s business. He does what you say, you pay him. But you don’t pay him in advance: That would be finance. And finance is one thing you should never engage in with the poor. (By poor, I mean anyone who the SEC wouldn’t allow to invest in my hedge fund.)

“Scrooge” Lewis strikes every wrong note on this piano. If you like watching car crashes, read it.

Humbug!

H/T: Barking Moonbat Early Warning System

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