Jupiter’s Great Red Spot has been a feature of its surface for about 300 years. But since 2006 there have been two. Now a third has appeared. NASA explains that Jupiter’s recent outbreak of red spots is likely related to global warming, as the gas giant is warming near its equator.
Sunflower McGee, of the Jupiter Liberation Front, explains. “Darth Cheney and Halliburton are responsible for sending cheap Chinese manufactured SUVs, snowmobiles, Ginsu knife sets, and backyard grills to Jupiter. This encourages the formerly vegetarian tribal natives of Jupiter to cut down their rain forests and burn the wood in their new grills, all in order to murder and cook the same Jovian animals they used to esteem as their brothers and sisters. I am ashamed to be a human, for we are not only a plague on our own planet but also one to Jupiter.”
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