Wolf Pangloss

Washington, DC, 19 March - In its first session since the Saint Patrick’s Day holiday, the House Democratic Caucus is expected to discuss a law that will condemn to death anyone who decides to leave the left wing of the Democratic Party and take up another viewpoint.

Under the proposed law, anyone who is born to Democrat parents, or who registers as Democrat for two elections in a row, and decides to convert to a more conservative political party will face the death penalty.

Currently, converts, known as neo-cons for their newly discovered conservatism, particularly those who have decided to leave the Democratic Party for the Republican Party, are thrown off George Soros’ payroll, shunned by the jet set, dis-invited from all the big hooker parties at Elliot Spitzer’s place in the Hamptons, and blacklisted from jobs in Hollywood, and in the entertainment industry, which includes failing newspapers such as the New York and Los Angeles Times and television news on failing stations such as NBC, MSNBC, CNBC, CNN, CBS, PBS, and the incredibly boring radio network NPR.

The new legislation, which has caused concern in Washington DC and elsewhere, was proposed mainly because of fears of proselytizing activities by conservative activists, particularly through the use of blogs such as Michelle Malkin’s eponymous blog, Townhall.com, Jihad Watch, Ace of Spades HQ, the Weekly Standard, Blog Row at National Review Online, and an obscure pro-military site with a name that is so cool it would seem unrealistic in a science fiction movie.

There has also been concern over the fact that many young Democrats have abandoned the party because they are tired of the dominance of leftover Marxist class and race warfare in the Democratic Party, to the detriment of intellectual engagement with ideas that matter, such as the imminent collapse of the welfare state and what to do about it.

The legislation, which bears the curious name of the Fairness Doctrine v.2, will also impose the death penalty for hosts of conservative radio talk shows, whose shows and ill-gotten wealth will be transferred to NPR for more episodes of An American Life about lesbian drum circles in a renovated crack house in Seattle formerly owned by the late Layne Staley of Alice in Chains, who luckily died of a heroin overdose before he could become a neo-con himself.

h/t: Adnkronos International.

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